Award Winning "Unreported: Learning to Live Free" Author Veera Mahajan gives here an exclusive interview, detailing facts about The Me Too Movement, and more.
MALIBU, CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES, April 23, 2019 /EINPresswire.com/ — Former publisher of "The Malibu Chronicle," licensed arbitrator, actress, producer, and domestic violence counselor; Veera Mahajan interviewed numerous women and men who survived abuse, and escaped–for her outstanding book, UNREPORTED: Learning to Live Free. The following is an exclusive interview with the author, for The Hollywood Sentinel.
Hollywood Sentinel: The "Me Too" Movement is big now. Some say that we should give the alleged abuser the benefit of the doubt, as if in a court of law. Others say that we should assume that that accuser is telling the truth. What do you feel is the correct approach in dealing with this problem? Should the accuser be believed first? Or should the accused be presumed innocent until proven guilty? Why?
Veera Mahajan: Yes, I believe the accuser should be believed. It takes a huge effort and courage for a victim to come forward so we do not want to discourage them to complain. But, that does not mean we can assume that there is not another side of the story so the complaint should be thoroughly investigated. The alleged abuser should be questioned and investigated thoroughly also. We can not take the complaints of abuse lightly; that is what keeps this horrible problem hidden and growing. It discourages the victims who are already afraid, from coming forward and talking about the abuse.
Hollywood Sentinel: That makes sense. There is a debate concerning parenting, regarding corporal punishment. Some see this as abuse, whereas others do not. Do you feel that a child should be spanked at school or at home? If so, why, and if not, why not and what is the solution to discipline?
Veera Mahajan: I am not for corporal punishment. If we listen and talk peacefully, I think we can also teach our children how to listen and talk their differences out. We do not need to scream, fight, and hit to make our point.
When we scream at our children or hit them, I think we are frustrated at our own failure at the ability to communicate. In the process, we teach our children that that is the correct way to be heard or respected. So the problem keeps going on an and on throughout the generations. We need to stop the use of force and anger, and learn to listen to our children, and teach them how to listen too.
Hollywood Sentinel: That's great. I agree. There is a great quote in your book which I love that states, "Do you
know that you were born as good as anyone else? Well you were. No one has the right to make you feel afraid or make you feel bad about yourself." What was the single most important thing that helped you get over your fear of others or of those that abused you?
Veera Mahajan: Seeing my growing son, still afraid of his father when he was hitting him, killed the fear inside me, and made me finally take the action that was so overdue. I finally decided to give up trying to beg him to stop abusing us, instead I decided to "stop" accepting the abuse, and I told him I was leaving him. That day, I freed my sons and myself to live our lives the way we wanted to live, and put and end to abuse.
Hollywood Sentinel: Incredible. You speak of a person not having enough self esteem, which causes people to be abused, and the importance of loving ones self enough. When you didn't, why didn't you love yourself enough, and how did you change that?
Veera Mahajan: I was never taught to love myself. I was always taught to take care of others needs and taught that thinking of myself was selfish. No one ever taught me that my feelings were important. I was never taught that I deserved to be respected. I was told I was loved, and because my parents took care of our needs, we were to assume that was love even though it also came with verbal and physical abuse. That was the way of life. When you are always told what to do and that you are not good enough, that kills your self esteem. It also prepares you to accept abuse from others. My brothers and I were never taught that our happiness mattered. That is what I took to my married relationship. I loved him, did everything to make him happy. I always wanted to be loved, but by my own actions never showed that I cared enough to give him consequences if he treated me badly.
It was a good thing that I never gave into the lessons taught by my own mother and our culture. And I am not just talking about the Indian culture, I am talking about Indian and American. Somehow women are taught that men are going to be men; they will be angry, they will cheat, and they will lose their temper once in a while, and that this is normal. Indian culture takes it to another level and does not support women even if they complain. I never accepted it. I continued to fight for myself and my children. And when my youngest son passed the custody fight stage (becoming a legal adult), I told my ex-husband I was done taking his abuse and left.
Praise for “UNREPORTED: Learning to Live Free”
"We go to the gym when we want to get into physical shape. We also must try to achieve emotional shape as well as a good spiritual condition. I highly recommend this brilliantly written book to you all. I think that it is very important for us all." –Oscar Winner Louis Gossett Jr.
UNREPORTED: Learning to Live Free
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Official Website: https://veeramahajan.com/
Source: EIN Presswire